July 3006: JuarezDi Household
last JuarezDi update/last Diego update/next update
Diego Juarez is 39. Also Victoria is 37, Sergio is 13, Santiago is 11, Sabrina is 7, Dimitri Barnes is 32, Corey Tyler is 38, Becca Faithbucks is 33.
narrated by Diego
Tuesday and Wednesday evenings have become bittersweet for me. I’ve finally settled into my own apartment, and the kids get to visit me after school. No matter how many times I try to have them through dinnertime, Victoria doesn’t budge and wants them home by 6 pm sharp.
That leaves me to eat dinner alone; since I’m cooking for myself, that usually leaves me with Starvin’ Marvin meals out of convenience rather than necessity. It’s just no point to cooking when it’s only myself. Getting to spend only a few hours with them a couple times a week after seeing them every day of their lives is brutal.
Victoria and I did agree on weekend visits once a month at least, only because I have one bedroom. I take advantage of the monthly extended visit by taking a weekend trip into the city, getting a hotel, seeing the shows, etc.
I’d rather get a bigger place, but my lawyer advised against buying any property until the divorce was finalized. Renting a larger apartment wouldn’t make sense, as their time over is minimal, so I’m pretty much stuck in my current situation for the time being.
I am glad that I retained Corey as my counsel. He is very knowledgeable, doesn’t mince words, but he is empathetic to the entire situation. He knows that the separation was painful and the mediations will not be pretty. But he will be working towards me and my children’s best interests, especially since Victoria is asking for sole custody.
I thought our separation was going to be temporary, as I really thought we could work things out. Irritating she was being, I was still crazy about her. But after a few mediation meetings with the mayor, I was beginning to realize that our marriage may not be salvageable, after Victoria’s many antics.
Just when I thought we were near a resolution, she would continue to bring up new objections, whether it was about money, custody or our relationship.
Her latest antic was attempting to smear my reputation, by claiming that I was “emotional abusive and controlling.” And she is also still claiming that I was also unfaithful.
It seemed that she was saying anything she could to show me in a bad light, and I was getting fed up at all of her allegations.
Corey was able to calm me down before I reacted unfavorably, which I’m sure was Victoria’s intent. Corey explained to Mayor Barnes that it has been proven that allegations of spousal mistreatment and infidelity had been proved false, and that any continued baseless accusations would be bordering harassment.
Mayor Barnes agreed, and warned her that her tactics were going to work against her.
She wasn’t liking the turn of events, especially when her demands for outrageous alimony, child support and sole custody were denied. Not only that, her behavior in and out of court were beginning to cast a doubt on her ability to being the primary custodial parent.
When it became obvious that the meeting wasn’t going to go in her favor, Victoria rose to leave. At this point I was fed up with her petulant behavior and I went to confront her.
Almost immediately, I had a moment of clarity. This wasn’t me- all of the nastiness that this whole thing had become. A small part of me still wanted us to be a family again. I wanted to have a long marriage like my mother and father did before she died.
But I was only kidding myself. The bold, adventurous, assertive woman that I have known for all of these years was gone. Or maybe, she never actually existed, and I am now just learning who she really is. Our marriage deconstructing has been quite ludicrous, and all of the pettiness, vindictiveness and derision from her has possibly shown me who she really was all along.
- The song is from Love The Way You Lie Part II by Rihanna.
- This post is a week late and even then it took a couple of days to write this update. Although I enjoyed the photo shoot, putting the words to “paper” seemed surprisingly difficult.
- Diego and Victoria are my couple with the highest compatibility so it was annoying that they rolled the ROS, breaking them up. However, after really delving into her simology, I realized what caused Victoria to end their marriage: loss of control.
- If she was to take the DISC personality profile, she would be considered a D. She was decisive, direct and demanding (alliteration not intended lol). She is used to taking charge and getting what she wants. She focuses on her own goals and how she appears to the world, rather than focusing on people themselves. When Diego had a mini-midlife crisis, she had no control. He went out and had plastic surgery, which is such a huge change, no matter how minimal it actually was. He made a choice without her input or permission, and it probably shook her, because he probably broke her assumption that he would do exactly what she wanted and would act as such. So he had an independent choice, and then she thinks, I knew him so well but then he does this without me. What else is he doing? Has he done? With whom? She took great offense to him straying from her path, so with the paranoia setting in, came all of the accusations of infidelity. She overcompensated by being more controlling of their marriage, children and finances. To further show her power, she chose when the marriage was over, and it was.
- After the split, she became vengeful and petty (she kept stealing the newspaper at Dominic and Tamara’s house, kept starting fights whenever they were in the same room, etc), but of course, she kept up the role as dutiful mother to their children and the rest of the world, while trying to vilify Diego, being highly rigid with visitation and ultra-demanding in alimony settlements. I’m sure Becca regrets taking her as a client, but money is money. Unfortunately, she’s not showing herself in a good light and it may affect the finalizing of the divorce.
- This meeting was staged in a spare room in the mayoral estate, with the mayor acting as mediator. However, if things go to trial, Leo Wilkie will preside, not Dimitri, as Leo is the court judge in the LC.
- I am still not sure how I want the divorce to play out. But I put up a poll to gauge what y’all are thinking.
- P.S. If your are interested in what your DISC profile is, try a free one here or here. Thanks for reading!